My Hockey Crush Used Me for Stress Relief, He Hasn't Scored Since I LeftChapter 1

The night before Cole's championship game, he showed up at my door and knocked three times.

Our signal for the last eight years.

The first time he did it, he was fourteen and too wired to sleep before his first state tournament.

He showed up on my porch with a bag of chips and asked me to run drills with him one more time.

After that, before every game, big or small, it was always three knocks.

Usually, when I opened the door, he had something in his hand.

His favorite snacks, game video, or his laptop.

Tonight, he's empty-handed.

"No video tonight?"

"Can't focus."

Cole steps inside and shuts the door behind him.

"Stay with me tonight, okay?"

Tomorrow he's facing Jonas Krieger, Boston College's monster center, the guy every scout has been salivating over for two years.

For the past month, I've broken down twelve hundred of Krieger's shifts and walked Cole through every possible third-period scenario.

I thought tonight would be like every other night.

Until Cole leans down and kisses me.

I've been in love with Cole Ashford since the summer I was sixteen.

That year, Cole made the U18 national team and kissed me on the cheek.

The next morning, he acted like it had never happened. But I held on to that kiss for six years.

Tonight, Cole doesn't just kiss my cheek.

He kisses me on the lips, and after that, everything unfolds naturally.

It's my first time, and even though it hurts so much my hands shake, I don't push him away.

When it's over, Cole pulls the blanket up over me and kisses my forehead.

"Don't forget to take the pill in the morning."

His hand is already reaching for his phone. "I'm not trying to be a dad yet."

I clutch the sheet and force the words out anyway.

"Cole. What are we?"

He looks down at me. His brow tightens.

"Championship game tomorrow, Nina. Don't hit me with that right now."

* * *

The next day, Cole scores a hat trick.

Third national title of his college career. Frozen Four MVP.

Every scout in the building has their phone out.

I carry my binder of scouting notes down to the locker room.

Before I push the door open, I hear someone laughing.

"Yo, Ash. What'd you do last night, man? You were an animal out there."

Cole's voice, easy and lazy.

"Nothing. Just found someone to help me unwind."

"Nina?"

"Who else."

Cole chuckles, "I mean, no offense, but she's been around me forever."

"She knows the drill. Doesn't cling. Convenient, you know? Low maintenance."

Laughter. That gross kind of laughter.

"So, round two tonight?"

"Nah. Not tonight."

A pause.

"Anna's got a whole thing planned."

I stand outside that door, and my fingers go cold one knuckle at a time.

My phone buzzes a second later.

[Ms. Reyes: Your MIT x University of Toronto Sports Analytics Fellowship confirmation window closes at midnight tonight.]

I've been sitting on that offer for a month.

Because Cole said he couldn't do the next stretch of the season without me.

I look down at my screen. For the first time in my life, I don't think about what Cole needs.

I type my name into the confirmation field.

Hit send.